Christ Focused

I've been struggling with my focus on Christ.  I don't know why.  I've been really amazed that when I read the Bible I don't have drive to read more because everytime I do I'm taken back by some of the stuff that I read (yes a long run on, just keep reading).  Anyway, So i'm reading in acts tonight.  Philip was told by an Angel of God to take the road to the gaza area.  On his way the Holy Spirit led him to a guy that was a Eunuch from Ethiopia.  So he says to this Eunuch, who by the way is on his way back from Jerusalem and is stopped to read Isaiah, do you understand what you're reading.  The Eunuch says dude, seriously, how could I?  So they take off in this Eunuch's chariot and Philip shares Christ.  The Euny decides to get baptized.  So ok, here's the crazy part.  Philip baptizes this guy in the name of Christ and Philip disappears.  I don't know about you but I go to lifechurch.tv where they baptize in rows of like hundreds and i am a preacher's kid.  I've seen my fair share of baptisms including my own.  I've never seen someone so full of the life of Christ that they've disappeared.   This is in the new Testament.  So anyway, how do I get to that point?  Now I'm not necessarily asking to disappear and end up somewhere else, although that would be way cool.  But if my life could be totally Christ centered, i would love to be alive.  Right now I'm struggling because I can't/don't have the opportunity or maybe the boldness to live this kind of life.  I hate that.  I've been blessed so much.  Why can't I give that away to others by telling them of His goodness?  I'm still trying to figure this out.  But I do know that I'm intentionally addressing this in my life.  Christ will be my focus not only through intentions but actions as well.